Realization
by brooklyn1shay2black3
Summary: "Picture Chat Noir without his personality." "...Oh my god, Chat Noir is hot." Crossposted on Aoa3
1. Realization

"Ok. Marinette. I'm going to need you to do this for me ok?" Alya said slowly, like she was speaking to a child who was throwing a tantrum.

Marinette huffed.

She didn't need to do this.

Chat Noir wasn't hot.

Marinette didn't care what all the commenters on the Ladyblog or Alya or anyone else said.

Maybe it was because Marinette actually knew him, like as in knew his personality and everything, that the idea of Chat being attractive was so inconceivable. Personally, Marinette didn't want to examine whether or not Chat was physically attractive.

He is a dork.

Period.

He makes cat puns.

Period.

He asked her in perfect seriousness what dabbing was.

Period.  
Chat wasn't hot.

"No way refuse to accept that this dork-" Marinette stabbed a finger at Alya's computer monitor where a picture of Chat was displayed "-is hot."

Alya glanced at Marinette, then the computer, then Marinette again.

"That dork?" Alya repeated, pointing at the picture of a flexing Chat Noir.

"Yes. That dork." Marinette confirmed.

Alya gave her a disbelieving look.

"Mari. Girl. Close your eyes." Alya said.

Marinette shot her an annoyed look.

"Just do it." Alya insisted.

Grumbling, Marinette closed her eyes.

"Now I want you to picture Chat Noir."

Marinette did as her best friend requested.

"Now, I want you to picture Chat Noir...without his personality."

It was a struggle at first.

Marinette was so used to just looking at Chat's personality, not his actual physical features.

His personality was more important. He was her partner. And while sometimes he could be annoying with his flirtatious ways, Marinette truly valued him as a friend and a partner. He was smart, kind, and actually kind of funny.

Not that she'd ever admit the last one to him.

Marinette furrowed her brow in concentration.

His looks.

Just focus on his looks.

His green eyes...

His blonde hair…

His bronze skin...

His admittedly nicely shaped forearms...

Marinette's eyes snapped open in realization.

Blood rushed to her cheeks and her face heated up.

"Girl." Marinette gasped.

"I know." Alya answered sagely.

" _Girl_." Marinette emphasized.

"I know" Alya nodded.

She wasn't smug.

There was no need to be smug.

Alya knew her best friend would see the error of her ways soon enough and come to the dark side.

The Noir side, as it was.

Marinette stared at the wall for a minute.

"Alya?" Marinette said faintly.

"Yeah?"

"...Oh my god, Chat Noir is hot."


	2. Interragation

"What kind of hair products do you use?" Ladybug asked in a serious tone.

This was not what Adrien thought she was going to say.

"What" was the only reply he could manage.

"I'm serious Kitty. Is there some kind of gel or shampoo? Fess up." Ladybug demanded.

Adrien gaped.

He wanted to make a pun but nothing rhymed with shampoo.

"Um. Castor oil. And glycerin mixed with one egg white. Massage into you hair and then wait a couple minutes before washing it out. I don't know what brand of shampoo I use but it smells like mint?" Adrien replied.

Ladybug nodded severely.

"And what is your skincare regime?" She questioned.

Adrien started to sweat.

Was this a test? Was she testing him?

Adrien's eyes widened.

Or maybe this was some bizarre flirting thing.

As much as he pretended otherwise, Adrien didn't know how to flirt.

He was a liar and a fake and now Ladybug might actually be flirting with him and he can't tell.

"Chat Noir?" Ladybug prompted.

Adrien blinked.

Right.

"My dermatologist suggested this weird honey and oatmeal mask, but I hardly ever do it, cause it takes forever and is super uncomfortable. I wash it everyday first with plain water then this face wash with tea tree oil, moisturize, and pat dry. Not rub. Pat. " Adrien instructed.

Ladybug pulled a notepad out of nowhere and started to take notes.

"Do you wear makeup?"

"Only for work, and then it's usually minimally applied. The purpose is to enhance your natural looks, not change them." Adrien listed, thanking the gods above that all those long rants from his various stylist have finally had actual use.

"Work out routine?" Ladybug inquired.

"Well akuma's usually keep me pretty busy. Other than that, 10 push ups and 15 curl ups before I go to bed. If you want M'lady, we can be workout buddies." Chat purred.

It wasn't his best but he was trying.

From the look on His Lady's face he could tell it didn't work.

He shot her finger guns and the moment was over.

"Um, I have to go. Thanks for...yeah. Bye Chat." Ladybug awkwardly said before yo-yoing off into the sun set.

Adrien tried to process what just happened but couldn't get past the fact Ladybug might have been flirting with him.

Oh well.


	3. Irritation

Marinette hummed as she layered on a good amount of her oatmeal honey mask on her face.

Life was good.

Marinette's skin was glowing, her hair felt amazing, and this new soap she had gotten smelt like happiness and sunshine.

All was well.

Until it wasn't.

THUMP.

Marinette froze.

That wasn't a sound that was supposed to happen.

She peaked out of her bathroom and nearly fainted at the sight.

"Ow." Chat Noir's muffled voice assaulted her ears.

The stupid cat was slumped,face first, on her bedroom floor.

Her eyes drifted up to where her skylight swung loosely.

"Kitty. What are you doing?" Marinette asked with a raised eyebrow.

He looked up and that's when Mariette choked.

His eyes.

They were beautiful.

Damn you Alya , Marinette thought.

How was she supposed to focus when she had her bestfriends voice reminding her that the biggest dork in France had pretty eyes.

"Can't I visit the most purrfect princess in Paris?" Chat asked, scraping himself off from her floor.

Marinette let out a quiet laugh.

"Well, if you insist." Marinette rolled her eyes.

Ah yes.

There he was.

There was the pun loving loser she adored and didn't have to acknowledge was pretty.

Chat quickly kneeled, gently grasped her hand, and kissed her knuckles.

"And how are you tonight, princess?" Chat purred.

Damn.

Even his voice was kinda hot.

"Pretty boy- I MEAN PRETTY GOOD-haha yes, I'm pretty good, how about you?" Marinette rushed nervously.

God damnit.

She had made a mistake so massively large and overbearing she'll probably never recover.

Honestly, 'Pretty Boy'?!

Marinette prayed he didn't notice.

And for a moment, gazing at his confused expression, she really believed he hadn't.

And then a sly smirk crawled up his face and Marinette knew it was all over.

She would pay for her mistake.

Dearly.

"I had no idea you had such a high opinion of me Princess." Chat said smugly, wagging his perfectly shaped eyebrows.

Oh god.

What had she done?

"I suppose, I can't really blame you for getting flustered, when speaking in the face of beauty itself." Chat drawled and-oh no, he's flexing.

Marinette had created a monster.

"So tell me princess, was this your plan all along? To get me all alone-"

"Ok, time for you to leave." Marinette deadpanned.

She grabbed Chat by the tail and started pulling.

"Wait-" Chat squeaked.

"Nope, time to go." Marinette grunted.

He was a lot heavier than she thought he would be.

"Princess-"

"Chat,I have school tomorrow " Marinette emphasized.

She let go of his tail and gestured to the skylight.

His ears drooped and she felt bad for half a second.

Then she remembered the flexing and steeled her resolve.

"Can I come back soon?" Chat asked with a hopeful grin.

Marinette laughed and swiped at his bell.  
"As long as you warn a girl first." Marinette playfully responded.

He kissed her knuckled again.

"The farewell for now,princess."

And with a very Chat like grin disappeared into the night.

That's when Marinette remembered she still had half of the oatmeal mask on.

"MOTHER-"


	4. Affection

She should have seen it coming, in hindsight.

She told him he could come back later.

Chat still smashed up against her window, knocked for the second time. Marinette kept staring.

His hair was so pretty.

The next knock was a little more frantic.

Marinette shook herself out of whatever temporary insanity she had succumbed to.

She opened the door, and the cat fell inside.

"Hello, Chat Noir. Lovely weather we're having." Marinette said, devoid of all emotion, as Chat spluttered and peeled himself off her floor.

"Marinette! I had to come as soon as I found out! It's life changing!" Chat coughed.

Marinette blood turned to ice. That could mean so many things.

He could have found out Hawkmoths identity, or her identity, or there could be some attack on Paris-

"Mecha Strike Four is coming out!"

Oh, this was way more important.

"What!" Marinette shrieked.

"I know!" Chat exclaimed back with a wide grin.

"Chat."

"I know."

The two started to excitedly chatter, their sentences running over and overlapping each other until they dissolved into excited screams.

"Marinette?" Sabine's voice wandered up.

Marinette paused her excited meltdown to tackle the superhero to silence him.

She plastered her hand to his mouth, and the two exchanged a look.

"Sorry, Maman!" Marinette called back.

"Are you all right up there?" Sabine's worries voice floated up.

"Yup! Everything's fine!"

Sabine's footsteps back down the stairs resounded in the room.

Marinette shoved herself off of Chat.

Oh no.

Marinette started to sweat.

She had forgotten.

Marinette took a step back and looked at a now concerned Chat.

She had forgotten he was pretty.

"Marinette? You ok?" He asked, furrowing his brow.

"Yep! Everything fine!" Marinette blurted.

She needed him out of her room as soon as possible. She refused to let him see how she was failing at basic human functions right now.

"I'm sorry about all the noise earlier," Chat said, rubbing the back of his neck "I knew you'd be as excited as I was-"

"It's fine, I'm fine, we're fine." Marinette babbled.

Oh god, make it stop.

"If you're sure." Chat doubted. He was leaning against her was in a very large

Why did he have a have a leather catsuit?

Surely the gods must have cursed her for giving her a friend that so was genuine and pretty and then put Adrien Agreste's fine self in her classroom.

"Anyway, once it comes out, we must talk about it! I don't have any other close friends are into the series…" Chat said, rubbing the back of his neck and giving a little shrug.

"Oh yeah! Sure! Of course-" Marinette started before realizing.

 _Screeeeeeeeech_.

 _Rewind_.

 _Pause_.

Close friend?

"I'm your close friend?" Marinette asked.

Chat blinked at her and she blushed. Ooof, that sounded a lot ruder out loud than in her head.

"I mean….yeah? I do?" Chat laughed awkwardly, rubbing his arm.

"Oh! Good! So do I! You, I mean! I also think of you in that way!" Marinette, struggling to say words that make sense.

Smite her, please.

"Oh! Good, I'm glad!" Chat answered.

"Only in that way," Marinette emphasized. Better let the home wrecking seductress know where they stood.

Chat's lips formed a wry smile. He clasped her on the arm. "I wouldn't want it any other way." He said warmly.

Marinette stared at his forearm.

Big Muscles.

Stop it now. You have to keep your thoughts pure for Adrien, Marinette thought to herself.

"I better get going. I'll talk to you later, yeah?" Chat asked.

Marinette does not recall what she said in reply but whatever it was it got the boy to leave.

Whatever works, she supposed.


End file.
